2. The Pier

It had been a dream of his, one that he had never ever acknowledged. But it came back to him whenever he felt sad, or lonely, unsure or confused. Elisa, straddling his lap, his bare chest against the smooth softness of her, whispering love and future, beginnings and hope. In the dream he would let it ride, never tried to wake from it. He would grasp at the dream, trying to hold on and keep it real, until reality cleared the selfish allowance of sleep and he was forced to deal with the guilt of having made love to his best friends wife in his mind.

There was a danger in it, in wanting someone he couldn't have. He knew it. understood that he wasn't privvy to her flaws, wouldn't know what living with her really was. Therefore, he dream would be the perfect her and she would only fall short. But, then again, it didn't matter because she was married. The simple truth was, he would never, ever feel her, taste, her, love her. And the deeper truth was that he felt dead ass wrong for thinking on it in the first place.

So now, they sat on a bench at the harbor, people watching, but ignoring the world all the same. Mark glanced down at Elisa, wondered what she was thinking. Her husband, no doubt. I'm sitting here thinking about someone who doesn't even want me in that away. I couldn't be more pathetic. Damnit!

He glanced away, watching the many couples around them, braving the chill in the air to get in these last few moments at the harbor. It's not like I don't have women. Hell, that's not a problem at all. The problem I have is trying to get these chicks to leave me alone. And I am sitting up here trippin. I don't want to be nobodies rebound, aint's trying to caught in the middle of no love games.

ELisa looked up at him, smiled, leaned into him.

"I love it here. I love all the people, the water, the birds, everything."

Mark eyed the seagulls with distaste. If he could get his hands on a Bebe gun, it would be over for these flying rats.

"So, aren't you going to ask?"

"Ask what?"

"I don't know, I just thought you were going to want more details. Especially about your boy."

"Naw. I know him well. Not much that needs to be said."

"Men. Don't talk much but hang together all the time."

"Yeah, don't talk about nothin real."

"SO, the woman. SHe is someone from undergrad, you know."

That caught his interest. "Who?"

"I don't know. Her name is Michelle. I didn't know her."

"Michelle, michelle...naw, I don't know." He lied. Michelle was Anthony'sbiggest freak, his most reliable, dependable, do you how you want to be done, girlfriends. No wonder he left Elisa. He done went and got turned out. Again.

"Your lying. I can tell."

"What?"

"You know her. Your lying."

"No I aint'."

"Mark, whenever you lie you start clenching your teeth. You started is soon as I said her name." She paused, kicking at a pebble with her feet. "So, she's all that, huh?"

"No." Mark said it clear, he didn't not want to leave a doubt. "No, she is one dimensional. There's thousands of woman that can work it like her. Doesn't explain his actions."

"I guess."

"Lisa, listen, you didn't do anything wrong. This is not your problem. Anthony will see his error, he will come around."

"Im not taking him back."

"Why?"

"I dunno." They sat there, watching the water lap over the side of the pier. "I am done with hi, with this life. I am going to be single and figure out how to be with myself, before committing to someone else."

"Aw, the black women mantra. Its what they all way, but does it work. Hell naw. They want to get them a man."

"I guess. I want a man too, but I don't have to look for any one new. The one I want has always been right there."

Mark looked down at her, catching her eye. Did she know, or was she referring to someone else?

"Really?" he asked nonchalantly, wondering how far she would go.

"Really." She answered, settling back into the crook of his arm, falling silent as she dazed out over the water.

Mark didn't have the nerve to press the matter, so they continued to sit in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.